last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
