I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
