Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize