you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
