So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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