i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Randomize
