i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
