I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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