Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize