That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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