what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
