Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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