i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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