btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
