The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
we made out on top of his cat.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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