Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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