6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
