Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
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Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
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I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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