So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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