I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
