she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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