my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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