So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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