He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
