Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You took a bar mat shot.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
