after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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