no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
