Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
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Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
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the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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