Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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