She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
that's an acceptable place to lick
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
