He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
