My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
