WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She told me I should be a condom model.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
