dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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