So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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