Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
