Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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