Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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