what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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