she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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