What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
