I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
