2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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