I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
