Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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