Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
