I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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