he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
