we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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