I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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