I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
