i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
