hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
