better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
