I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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