what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
