You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
whose ass print is on the piano?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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