I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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